As my kids grow, I’ve found my attitudes toward different situations have completely shifted. I used to avoid those things that drove me crazy- all the misbehaving and button pushing. Why would I want to remember that?
But now- looking back as I’ve been witnessing the radical change kids go through during the craziness of childhood- I can see that I was completely wrong.
Those little moments that used to drive me crazy- one day they stopped happening. And I don’t know when that was. But one day I looked around and realized I couldn’t remember the last time my oldest insisted I tuck in every single stuffed animal in her bed. And she’d roll over to get comfortable and then get SO UPSET that they were no longer tucked in. She’d cry out for me, in such frustration, and I’d have to go back up to her bedroom and tuck in all 15 stuffed animals again. She was a tosser-and-a-turner every night, trying to get comfortable and eventually, we realized that her bedtime friends needed their own blankets because she was constantly pulling her blanket off of them. We grabbed her old baby blankets from storage and each friend had their own little receiving blanket to get tucked in. It certainly made going to sleep easier but that made the actual going-to-bed take forever as each one needed their own kisses and hugs and tucking in ritual. Times 15. I remember being equal parts charmed by her nurturing nature that she wanted her friends to have the same treatment as we gave her, and irritated that going to bed took SO LONG. I was ready for my evening break and wanted to clock out from Mom’ing for a bit.
I can remember my irritation so well, but even just typing this story out bring back such a flood of nostalgia. I don’t have any photos of these moments, so I don’t recall which stuffed animals were her favorite. I don’t recall the blankets we used, and even how old she was is a bit fuzzy. I want to say 2 or 3 or even 4? I have no idea when it stopped, and I feel a twinge of sadness for a moment that I let slip by because I was just over it each night. A moment that truly is gone forever.
Because of moments like these, I try to document even the things that drive me crazy. I don’t need to dwell on them- but a single photo will seal it in the time capsule. This is how life is- crazy and noisy and chaotic at times. I now know I’m going to want to remember it- just as it is.
This moment pictured above is all about how these two troublemakers are always riling each other up at bedtime. They start tucked in their beds, one gets the giggles, the other responds in turn, one sneaks out of bed to visit the other, and the next thing I know they are up and chasing each other through the house with their belly laughs echoing through each room.
It drives me crazy. You guys were just trying to kill each other an hour ago- suddenly at bedtime, you are best friends and acting all cute? Again with the theme of “I’m ready to clock out so go the eff to bed already” so I took note of that and photographed the chaos. The love between them. Their sense of fun and adventure and magic and joy. They always seek each other out first. I took the photo, noted the details, and then went back to business- marching them back upstairs and back into bed and back with the threats of “stay in bed or else!”
It’s total chaos but thanks to this photo I’m able to really see the depths of love in the chaos.
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